When change is good, Out with the old

I recently moved. On the fly. We had been planning a move and didn’t feel any compulsion to move quickly, but I realized that the school year started a full month earlier than our former home in the location that we wanted to move to… so in a period of 3 weeks we: bought a house but leased it in advance of closing; packed our house; and, moved to the new location. It was the classic shit show but we managed to only have one marital spat through the process. It will probably now take us months to unpack all of the boxes (over 200).

I recently told a client (and this is the absolute truth) that I went about 2 weeks with only having a few pairs of underwear, a pair of shorts, and a few tops. I just kept running loads of laundry for clean clothes every day at the new house. I am somewhat unapologetic of my excessive and at times obnoxious love of designer clothes, shoes and handbags. Right now, most of them are in boxes. It’s a bit depressing really. Even as I type this, we are two weeks in the new house and I only opened 3 boxes of clothes. And you know what? I’m just fine.

It’s so fucking hard to move. It’s so hard that people stay in the same place even when they are unhappy. We collect our stuff (there is a great George Carlin bit about this) and we can’t be without it. We want it in the same place, we like a certain order, and we absolutely believe that we cannot part with any of it. In reality, we all know that this is a bullshit mental construct that we have created to comfort ourselves.

My feeling is that there is a lot that we can just let go, but we need someone to give us a push. I’m not talking about emotional baggage or any of that feeling stuff. You need a better counselor than I for that. I’m talking about the physical stuff (crap) that we can’t let go of. I have a few tips for letting go. No doubt this advice has been preached from far wiser sages than me, but I’m telling you from what I’m living through right now. 

1. Put it in a box and if it doesn’t cry to get out leave it fallow for 3 months. If you don’t miss it – toss it. I’m in this phase right now… so if you book time with me, ask me how it is going.
2. If it makes you cry, do you really want it in your life? For me there are many items that I have kept that are to spark my memory of my kids. They make me smile… but the idea of throwing them out makes me cry. When we decided to declutter the old house, I had my daughter pack up some of these things and make the decision what we would keep and what we would toss. 
3. Embrace the goodness of the change. If you were fucking miserable leave, it behind. Focus on what is good and positive about this major change in your life. This applies to everything. If you are a small business owner and making a major change to your operations, do it and don’t look back. Let go of the crap that was getting in your way. If you are a law firm and moving to paperless, start scanning and shredding new documents and don’t look back. This suggestion might be a bit more emotionally based, but it is also about the physical. Are you moving to a new home in a new town – eat out for a week and try a bunch of new restaurants.

As I am writing this, I am also launching my new consulting firm Ask Amy. For years, people have been calling me just to chat me up and help them find solutions. Now I am embracing the change of being in a new town, in a new state, and making a wholesale change. Yeah, I’ll still lightly practice some law on some limited cases, but I am making my consulting and coaching my focus. I have enjoyed working one-on-one with small business owners and I am expanding the time I will be available for that service.

If you have a question… Amy has an answer… if you have a problem… Amy has a solution.